Ther is this little thing that I cannot cut,
It is annoying me.
It is there.
Why is this so difficult and how can I hold myself for stopping,
because as soon as I stop. I am lost.
I stop seeing the goal and I stop seeing the present.
I am flying in the middle of nothing.
What is the purpose of that nothing?
Can I just fly away? When people say it is easy, I don’t know how it could be.
Sometimes the only easy way seems to be to just leave.
But how can you tell someone you love that you cannot deal with a place where they are a part of?
How can you leave a place where they are? How can you explain that you love yourself more, and you need to go?
I cannot.
And that is why I keep going. I cannot start flying. I cannot feel, what I feel deep inside, because it is covert with beautiful distraction.
It is not that it is not beautiful. It is amazing, but I am empty inside and it doesn’t fill me up.
Distract me. Fill me. And let me leave me as soon as we all realize we just can’t.
That little thing is kind of keeping me where I am, but also makes it more difficult to find a way.
A way home.
Where is the home?

C.